Love is one of the constants of our lives. We can find it in ancient literature always portrayed as the most desired element among people, but also has something somehow unachievable.
Nowadays, dating websites have managed to create great platforms for singles to get to know each other and increase the chances of successful love stories. However, the myth of the Casanova, a human being blessed with the perfect qualities for love, still represent a chip on our shoulders every time love doesn’t turn to be as we expected…
But, is love really a technique?
Let your first love be the love yourself
This powerful sentence was used in a Colombian campaign for sexual education and against unwanted pregnancies: Internet has helped to democratise love, education, and knowledge.
However, even if Internet, mass media and the publicity have helped a vast number of singles to find romance and to start love stories, they have also created a whole mythology around the physical and mental characteristics needed to succeed in love: the essential traits to attract and to have a romantic partner.
Luckily, even if we agree that experience is the key to knowledge, there is another essential element in the love arena in order to build the basic foundation to succeed in love: self-esteem.
Self-esteem, autonomy, and empathy: the keys to romantic attractiveness
Sometimes we become so obsessed to reach that ideal of perfection that would supposedly get us closer to triumph in love, that we forget that whichever your physical or mental qualities are, we all have the gift to feel emotions… aren’t those actually the main elements needed for love?
Love can be smelt, felt, touched, savoured… but love also comforts, complements, motivates and supports.
According to a study conducted by Johns Hopkins from the School of Public Health in Baltimore, the most attractive psychological qualities are: autonomy, empathy, and self-esteem.
If, instead of trying to continuously please the others and trying to adapt to a profile that doesn’t fit us, we would focus on the key to love, the path to romance would definitely be smoother: first step is to start loving yourself.
A high self-esteem is like a magnet, it attracts, it comforts, it stands out. That is why, sometimes the answer to self-esteem should be found in the spontaneity: stop procrastinating and start doing things: after all, is something is more important than love is to be alive: start to feel your life to the maximum!