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Top 3 reasons why you don’t get over your ex

Last Update : October 30, 2019 by Alex

After a bad break-up, they say time heals everything, but sometimes it feels that the thought of your ex is becoming an increasing obsession with time.
Don’t worry, you’re not alone.

We will tell you why you can’t get over of your ex and how to free your heart and be ready for a new love!

How to get over your ex: Survival guide in social media times

Indeed, social media can become painful and a source of obsession: you see your ex’s pictures, your ex new friends, what your ex is doing…and let’s be honest, social media can be biased! It tends to only show the good side of things.

So first things first, we’re not saying that you should block your ex, but it can be very healthy to change your settings and stop receiving updates on his/her activity. One basic element to get over your ex is to create some distance, and sometimes this distance starts with social media.

Read more: 3 things you should avoid after a break-up

3 mistakes that don’t let you get over your ex

#1 You still compare your ex with your new dates

Although it can be quite natural to compare, it can also be quite unhealthy.

If you’re starting to date again, you will probably feel tempted to compare your new potential match with your ex, the way he/she looks, the way he/she talks, etc.

However, by doing so, you’re limiting your potential love story with your new date and you’re not giving her/him a fair chance.

The advice is to try to open your mind as much as you can. Sometimes there’s no better or worse, but just different, and you’ve got to think that if your previous relationship didn’t work, trying something different is good.

Even if there were some really nice things about your ex that you would like to have in your new relationship, we highly recommend you to avoid comparing and letting your new date simply surprise you. You never know! You might discover new ways of romance!

#2 You’re still friends but you still have feelings

This is one of the most common difficulties to get over an ex. What to do if you’ve broken up but you’re still friends?

It becomes very hard to get over him/her! We’re not saying that you should cut all contact with your ex, but again, space is necessary.

Make sure you give each other some space, at least until you feel that both of you are on the same page and that you can meet to catch up without suffering.

You can start little by little. First, by sending each other some texts until you feel confident enough to meet.

The only way to be friends with your ex is to have an honest friendship which means that neither of you should have romantic feelings for the other and you should be able to meet free of judgments. Until you reach that point, some distance will be the best option for you.

#3 You still hope to come back together

Again, this is one of the most common mistakes people do when they break up.

First, you should reconsider the reasons why your relationship didn’t work. If you think your relationship is worth fighting a little bit more, then you can give it a try, once! But if you see that your ex is not willing to come back with you, then you should ban that thought from your mind.

Your aim is to get over your ex! So make sure you respect him/her and yourself too. A relationship is a great experience to have in life, whether it ended well or not that well.

So we recommend you to look at your ex as such, as a nice experience you have had that has probably taught you many things and that has helped you to grow as a person, which means that when you feel ready to start dating again or even to give a chance to another long-term relationship you will have much more to offer to your new relationship.

Check it out: How to find love in 10 ways Crash course

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